I am so ridiculous. I have changed so much, I just have to laugh about it. Who would have thought I would be in this position, literally only two months on? I started stressed, now I'm smiling. Life goes on.

I don't think you realise how much you worry me.

Your thing is music. Mine is this.

"I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

The truth hurts
A lie is worse

There's nothing left to say"

I regret the reliance, but not us. We should have done it differently. But what's done is done. You can't change the past. Let's just look forward to the future. Whatever that may be. I'm letting go now.

I have so much work to do. My room needs tidied. There are dishes to be washed. Life needs to go on, but this is too hard. What was I like before this all began? Just me.

It's easy to say to someone to get over it, to go out and just be you. Independent. It's okay at times. I can forget for a little while. But I should be seeing you right now. And what do I do in the inbetween times? Our moments?

I understand how easy it is to make that mistake now. I'm still trying to grasp why you lied about it, but I can vaguely see why. You still let yourself get into that situation though. That should never have happened. I guess love wasn't a factor back then. But there was still a commitment.

I let it happen. And I still feel commited to you.

I knew I was digging a hole. I don't belong anywhere anymore.

I need to get over you.

Now.

I know that it's going to get better, but it doesn't feel like that right now.

Can you be friends with someone who you don't trust? Or can you cut out a bit of the past and throw it away?

I want to forgive you. I don't know if I can.

I don't think you're worth the time I'm wasting on you.